


A Night at Tierney's

by SonnieMesa



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Agender Character, Bad Flirting, Drunken Flirting, Gen, Genderqueer Character, Racism, Rejection, Sexism, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-18 14:54:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4710023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonnieMesa/pseuds/SonnieMesa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An asari on her day-off is goaded by the typical male human reaction to asari. What tarts as entertaining herself with his goofiness turns into defending herself against his sleaziness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Night at Tierney's

Irzia Tori never had any desire to barhop. She could barely withstand the noise and the hassle that came with getting served at one bar, much less five in one night. That and the image of herself in a drunken stupor, stumbling from one tavern to another while pedestrians look on in shame was an ugly one, and would reflect poorly on her reputation. However, tonight, Irzia kicked those hindrances; this was her first day off in over a year. All those grueling hours, working the beat on Kithoi Ward, busting muggers and gangsters on a daily basis. She knew that she deserved it, so she might as well spend it doing something different.

Her first stop tonight was a popular nightclub on Kithoi called Indo Metallic. A rocky start since Irzia has a sour relationship with the clubs on the Citadel and the brain-drilling techno music that they provided. On the other hand, the drinks were some of the strongest and most satisfying that Irzia’s ever had. Their second stop was Overhead, a lounge at the top floor of an office building, overlooking the eye of the Citadel, hence the name. It was less loud and lively than Indo Metallic, offering a laid-back atmosphere to its customers. Relaxing, sure, but Irzia had been starting out too small on her crawl. She needed to kick it up a bit. And so, it was that the third stop, a small pub called Tierney’s, would be the more eventful one.

Tierney’s was a bar modeled after the taverns in the Earth country of Ireland. It was founded by a human, and had a locale that consisted mostly of humans. Irzia was a regular here and found herself getting perplexed by the unconventionality of the place with every visit. How were the humans supposed to socialize and dance in such a small space? Who in their right mind would put vid screens in a bar? It was all foreign to her, yet intriguing, and that’s why she kept coming back. That and the cute turian girls working the bar.

Irzia was deep in small talk with one of the serving girls when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She looked behind her and saw a human male. He stood at least six feet tall, had stringy blonde hair, pale blue eyes and a double chin. He was also obviously intoxicated, given the liquor on his breath, glossy eyes, red cheeks, and smug grin. Irzia knew just from looking at him what she was in for.

“Hey, baby,” the man said, speaking with a Southern United States drawl. “My name’s Marshall. I hope you don’t mind me sayin’, but I was watching your head-tentacles twitch. I was wonderin’ if it was ‘cuz you was thinkin’ ‘bout me?” Irzia fought the urge to bust out in a tearful laugh.

Goddess, she thought, this guy can’t be serious. Irzia’s been hit on by humans before, but this one was something else. He carried himself with such disgusting confidence, as if he foresaw himself bedding Irzia in some dream and was determined on making it come true.

“I’m sure you say that to all the asari,” Irzia droned at the man. She had no interest in hooking up, but the one thing missing from her day off was a good laugh. Marshall was just too ridiculous to ignore or shut down. No harm in humoring him.

“Why don’t you keep me company?” she asked.

Without hesitation, Marshall, goofy grin still plastered on his face, popped down on the empty stool at the bar next to Irzia. They sat in silence for a brief few seconds, Marshall looking on, resting his head on his hand to keep from nodding off, as Irzia downed her second shot and motioned for her third.

“So, what’re you doin’ here?” Marshall slurred.

“Drinking.” Irzia took a sip of her liquor.

“Oh? That’s nice,” Marshall replied. “I’ve been drinkin’ myself.”

“Wow, I could barely tell.” The asari had no intention on hiding her disinterest in the drunkard and stressed sarcasm on her every complimenting quip.

They spent the next five minutes making the same exchange: Marshall asks a question, Irzia gives a snide, vague reply. She was surprised that the man hadn’t caught on that she didn’t like him. He was either hopelessly persistent or just plain stupid. She still didn’t have any reason to hate him or anything. He was just boring and drunk, much like most of the men that hit on her. Irzia had just finished her third drink when Marshall popped up to speak.

“Hey, lemme tell ya somethin’. You wanna know somethin’?” Marshall asked, resting his arm on the bar. “I only date asari. I used to date human gals and they were a damn hassle to have, but when I came to the Citadel and saw y'all girls, it was like the Lord blessed me. I mean, once ya go blue, nothin’ else’ll do.”

As if that stupid, cliched, and not to mention offensive proverb wasn’t enough to kill Irzia’s mood, the fact that he bought into the ugly “women of your own species aren’t good enough” trend was begging for her to lash out at him. However, she decided to take the patient route and just push him on the subject instead, to get him tongue-tied.

“And what, pray tell, is wrong with human women?” Irzia challenged.

“Well… I mean, ya know,” Marshall began to stutter. “I mean, they just… well, they like to nag a whole lot and I don’t need that in my day-to-day, 'cuz, ya see- ”

“I know quite a lot of asari that nag,” Irzia interrupted, her tone dripping with annoyance.

“Well, yeah, sure, but not a whole lot of ’em do it, unlike the human girls.” Marshall paused for a few seconds, possibly recollecting his disassembling train of thought. “I mean, they go on and on an'… it’s an earsore, I tell ya. You and your women are as cool-headed as- ”

“You know, not all of us identify as female.” The asari was slowly reaching her boiling point and was praying that if she kept cutting him off, he’d finally shut up. She had a feeling that even a passing mention of the fact that she rejected gender completely would garner an ugly response.

“Well, y'all coulda fooled me,” Marshall smugly responded. “Y'all got the parts an’ everything.”

Okay, he did not just say that, Irzia thought. By the goddess, he really is stupid. She went back to her fourth glass, which she’s been ignoring for the past minute. Maybe her old friend Alcohol will calm her down.

“Even worse,” Marshall continued, “they complain too much about how it should be in bed. 'Let me get on top, this. You keep your hands back, that.’ It’s goddamn ridiculous. Y'all asari just lay down like you’re told and take what you’re gettin’, an’ that’s what I like 'bout y'all.”

That was the last straw. Irzia had tuned out after whatever came after that last sentence. She wanted him out of her sight, for fear that any other chauvinistic drivel that slipped out his lips would cause her to Reave him on instinct.

“Okay,” Irzia spat, slamming down her drink, “go away.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Marshall asked, surprisingly puzzled.

“You’re being disgusting, and I want you to get out of my face.”

“Aw, c'mon,” Marshall pouted. “No need to get all antsy at me 'cuz you’re all frigid an’ junk. Ya know you’re gonna be missin’ out on a good-ass night, baby.”

That “baby” word threw Irzia over the edge. She grabbed Marshall by the collar of his shirt, and pulled him off the stool, his resting arm knocking Irzia’s glass to the floor. The bar went quiet as the patrons turned their heads to the commotion. The male patrons looked on with horror as the women smiled. Irzia leaned down to face the petrified man, sneering and steaming with anger.

“Buddy,” Irzia shouted, “the only thing I’m missing out on is the opportunity to get drunk on my day off, and, right now, you are the cause of it! So, would you kindly fuck off?!” Irzia released Marshall and he clumsily picked himself up, eyes wide with restrained fear at the mad asari.

“Okay… that’s just… fine,” Marshall stammered, backing away slowly. “You wanna play Li'l Miss Icebox, that’s fine with me.” He then turned and ran out of the bar, knocking his knee on the leg of a table. Irzia sighed and planted her face on the bar with a groan.

“Goddess, why are men such idiots?” She asked to no one.

“I have no idea,” the turian bartender replied. “I only date women, but even that’s somehow a gross turn-on to some guys. I don’t know how you deal with it.” Irzia looked up and smiled at the turian.

“Just give me another drink, Lilacia,” Irzia said. “Vorcha-made whiskey. Full glass, leave the bottle and don’t water it down.”


End file.
